VH1 Video Observances

While watching videos (yes, actual music videos) on VH1 this morning, I have made some observances.

• I think it is really funny that Tom Morello of Audioslave appeared to be wearing a Kevlar vest during the concert in Cuba. I find it even funnier that Chris Cornell was not. Lead singers can be replaced, but Tom cannot. Hee.
  
• It's really nice that Kelly Clarkson has a song for all the hazel eyed girls out there. Poor hazel eyed girls being forced to listen to songs about blue, brown and green eyes with nothing speaking to them. Way to represent Ms. Clarkson!
  
• Poor Joss Stone. Major US album promotion, British stardom, Gap commercials. She obviously doesn't even have time to sleep, poor thing. I mean, look at her. She can barely keep her eyes open. Get that poor girl some coffee. Or perhaps that eye opening device from A Clockwork Orange.
  
• Why does Bono dress in Unabomber chic?
  
• Do friends get to drop the "The" from The Edge? Or must they always include the article?
  
• Did my friends get to pick the video lineup this morning? Kelly Clarkson, Joss Stone, Coldplay, U2. Throw in some Bon Jovi, Justin and Madonna, and my suspicions will be confirmed. Oh wait, Rob Thomas has come on. But I still take that as an ironic shout-out to Dinah.
  
• Now why exactly do these boys want to be Jerry Hall's boy toy?

Non-VH1 related observances

• Janice Dickinson has left America's Next Top Model. This makes me supremely sad. She made that show. Without the possibility of seeing Tyra jump over the table to strangle Janice while screaming "This is my show, you crazy silicone bitch," why bother tuning in?
  
• Did you know that they have these new things called con-taks? A con-tak is a small, sliver of plastic that you put into your eye (yes, your eye!) to allow you to see. I know! Crazy! --No. You don't have to wear glasses.
  -No. After the 8 hour con-tak application seminar, they are quite easy to use.
  -No. I don't think they are an alien invention, but they are so advanced that they might be. -Yes. In your eye.
  -No. It's quite easy.
  -No, you will not need A Clockwork Orange torture device, just your finger.
  -No. You don't need a license or any prior training.
  -Yes. They are quite comfortable, well as far as pieces of plastic in your eyes go.
  -Con-taks. They are new. All you poor, glasses wear people just must run out and get them.
  Con-taks. Eye sight invention of the future. They even come in colors! No, really!