Awkward....

This post was actually written a long time ago, and just not posted for some reason. But I thought it was amusing, so I am posting it now...

So, I had a date recently. This was my first real date in a very long time. I am beginning to think that this might have been my first date ever. Sure, there have been hook ups and “hanging out,” but this was a real first date. There were no previous group events. No hanging out. Just a real date bursting with Awkwardness. First, there was the question of where to go, what to do. He suggested Café Brazil. I apparently did not meet this with the proper amounts of enthusiasm. But really? Café Brazil? That’s were I go after shows or for brunch or to chat. It isn’t really a “dinner” place in my mind. Maybe I am wrong. I am sure some readers are already raising their fists in protest. So I suggested Mint. It’s my favorite. Plus, it would put me in familiar surroundings and give me a slight advantage. Yes, everything is indeed a competition.

Dinner was great. The conversation was your typical first date conversation. Very exploratory. Very Awkward. You know, what kind of movies do you like? What do you like to do in your free time? Can you read? Stuff like that. He is a little more into the sci-fi than I would prefer, but PLW is proof that you can be a cool Trekkie, so I will not judge too harshly. Battlestar Galactica. That’s all I will say. The conversation was really awkward. We would both just blurt out another question if there was ever a lull in the conversation. The people around us could tell that we were on an incredibly Awkward first date, and they were embarrassed for us. I swear, I saw some of them snickering. I probably talked too much about mundane things. I sometimes babble when I am nervous. I resisted the urge to tell too many of my fiasco stories. Thought I should save some things in case there is a second date.

We left the restaurant and headed to my place. I am furiously running through what to do next in my mind while I tell a mildly ill-fated story of my one and only bridge dive. Should I invite him in for coffee? Do I even have coffee? I know I have no creamer. What if he insists on creamer? What about a movie? Should we watch something OnDemand? Is it too late? He mentioned not liking to stay out past 9 on work nights, and it was past 9 already. If I ask, will he feel obligated to come in? So, he walks me in. Then, he proceeds to stand at the entry area. I am very confused by this. Is he leaving? Should I be offering him a seat? A drink? He said he is trying to not drink as much anymore. What to do?!?!? I tell him to have a seat; we can chat for bit. More Awkward conversation takes place.

Time passes. I have insulted his television viewing and chastised him for not reading Nick Hornby. I am mucking this up quite nicely, if I do say so myself. Then the part I had been dreading arrives. The good night. Will there be kissing? I did invite him in after dinner; is that a sex invite? That was certainly not my intention. Kissing I could do with. Should I kiss him? Will he kiss me? Aaaauuuggghhh!!! I walk him to the door. He gives me a little peck and mmkay, bye! He does say that we should do it again. But it was all so Awkward. I could tell he was running away from the Awkwardness. I wish I could have done that, but since my residence was the site of the Awkwardness, I was unable to flee.

Are all first dates this bad?