How to Write a Gothic Poem

An awesome WikiHow I discovered today.

Do you daily suffer the torments of a thousand deaths? Is your soul aching to express your unfathomable pain? Look no further! Here's a quick overview of crafting a work in one of the world's most highly esteemed poetic genres.

Note: This is intended to be a guide for writing simple and stereotypical, even humerous, gothic poetry, nothing to be taken too seriously.

Steps
Start with a topic. This expansive genre encompasses a huge range of topics -- just kidding.

Choose either "death" or "pain," anything else isn't truly goth. Anger is okay sometimes, but make sure that your anger involves either death or pain. Rejection is out. You aren't allowed to fall in love in the first place. Note: Feeling really adventurous? Try both at once!

Think of a title. Choose either one simple, minimalistic word (i.e. "Anger" or "Darkness") OR an incredibly long, flowing title with at 'least' five syllables. It still has to be abstract, though, and throwing in oxymorons can always help. Think "The First Light of Midnight" or "Exotic Darkness' Hidden Mistress."

With the hard part out of the way, outline the poem. Anything goes in this step, as you'll soon revise it. A short example: "my twisted soul can no longer fly//darkness rips at my blinding eyes"

Take out all capitalization, especially of the word "I." The only things allowed to be capitalized are references to Death, Pain, Torment, and the names of Greek gods/goddesses (see "Tips").

Remove all punctuation that might either improve the flow of the poem or be grammatically correct. Add random ellipses to at least half the lines.

Read through your poem. If there's any hint of hope, happiness, etc., cut that section, or change it to something about darkness.

The poem cannot rhyme at all. Also, it must contain the words "darkness," "torment," "black," and "soul" at least once.

Make some random line breaks. This is called "free verse." This step serves many purposes, including making the poem seem longer and making your ideas more abstract. Put as many as you like -- there is no limit. If a line almost actually sounds poetic, slice it in half. Or put the last word on its own line.

Tips
No "good" gothic poem can get by without a reference to razors. There are two typical ways to look at them: either love them ("i long to feel the touch of the blade once more") or treat them like a drug you want to quit ("if only the blood could stop flowing//i cannot stop this//sweet Escape").

Reference Persephone (who was kidnapped by Hades and forced to live half of every year in the underworld), Orpheus (a poet who tried to rescue his wife from Hades), Eurydice (the wife of Orpheus), Tantalus (doomed to forever sit in pool of water with grapes hanging overhead but not be able to touch them), the Cimmerii (people who lived in eternal darkness), or other ancient Greek/Roman tragic stories. These make your poem seem almost like real poetry!

Diction is what can make or break your poem. Use words that sound goth -- ephemeral, vorpal, evanescent, phlegmatic, atramentous, etc. It doesn't even matter if you use them correctly, as long as your audience doesn't know the difference. Also, use the word "rape" generously ("the Darkness rapes my tortured//soul").

Blood is never red. It can be crimson, cerise -- even erubescent -- but never red. Also, instead of "bloody," try "ensanguined."

Throw in some random Latin. "Memento mori" (literally, "remember mortality," but commonly used as "remember you must die") is a big hit, as are "nox" (night), "clavicula" (key), and "caligo" (gloom or mental darkness). It doesn't matter if you actually know Latin...just use some random phrases and mock anyone who questions you. Note: Latin can make for some good titles.

Keep all of your poems in a small, black notebook hidden somewhere in your room. If your notebook isn't black, draw abstract designs on it with a black pen. Don't let your mom see it.
Have a computer read your poems with a text-to-speech program. There is no match for the ensuing artistic beauty.

Always write out numbers, but the only numbers you actually need to use in any of your poems would be thirteen and six (six feet under).