Team Work Sucks

Many of you have heard me tell of my continuing saga of working with contractors at my job. I am the lead developer on my current project which means I am supposed to delegate out work and verify that everything is looking good and fits together. Well, to "help" me on this project, I was given J, the contractor with attitude. I don't know if the attitude is because she pretty much LIED about her skill set or because she is a teacher and from what I hear they are crazy or because she is much older than me. Whatever it is, working with her has been infuriating.

Conversation 1
MAV, in initial project meeting on Thursday: Okay, so I will look over the course and get a framework put together. I will email you with what sections I want everyone to work on and when they are due.
J: Okay.

Monday
MAV, in email: J, I need you to do sections 0 and 2. I have put the text and placeholder for graphics. You will need to create graphics for each of the screens. Please look over the following courses we have previously worked on to get a feeling for the look we are going for and what the client generally wants. (then I list about 5 links). Also, here are the links to graphic sites. Oh, and here is a DVD full of official graphics.

Much later that day...
J, finally responding for the first time that week after several emails and phone messages: So, you want me to do what?
MAV: Sections 0 and 2. I have the framework done. You will just need to add graphics and do some clean up.
J: So, you want me to finish this for you?
MAV, seething: No, remember I said I would assign sections. These are the sections. However, I have already done some of the work for you.
J: Do you have any employee graphics?
MAV: All the graphic we have are on that DVD.
J: Oh, that doesn't open.
MAV: *considers reaching through phone and throttling J
MAV: When are you coming into the office? The are too many files post or email.
J: Oh, I can't make it in until Thursday.
MAV: Hmmm... well, the project is due on Friday. We really need to make sure that we are not making frantic changes at the zero hour. Please post your work as soon as you are finished so I can be checking it.
J: Okay.

Wednesday
MAV: Hi J, it's Wednesday, and I am not seeing your files on the server. I really need them so I can make sure everything is going well and see where we are production-wise.

Hours later
MAV: J, it's Kelly again. Really need to have you post those files.

Two hours later
J: Here are the files. I was working on them all night.
MAV: Okay, I will check them out right away.
DIVA: Hey, are those Joanne's files?
MAV: Yes, let's look shall we.
MAV & DIVA: OMG!!! THESE ARE THE WORST GRAPHICS EVER! WHY DID SHE DO THAT?
MAV: I told her exactly what to do on several screens. Including sending examples. All she had to do was copy and paste.
DIVA: Did she have a preschooler or monkey do this?
MAV: I think so.

MAV: J, I got the files. They weren't exactly what we were looking for. Please look over these two courses to get a better understanding of our needs.

Next day
J: I was up until 3 in the morning doing these.
MAV: Let's have a look.
MAV: *hides shock really well*
MAV: Hmmm.... well, I was thinking more something like this. *shows example*
J: How do you do that?
MAV: Well, I do the masks in Flash.
J: Ah, I know how to use masks in Flash.
MAV: And, be sure not to do any sizing to the graphics inside Flash as it makes them all fuzzy and pixelated.
J: Ah, yeah, I know.
MAV: Okaaaaaaay.... Well, the rest is done with layers and masks in photoshop with some blurs thrown in.
J: Can you show me how?
MAV: Okaaaaay.... *gives elementary lesson*
J: Oh, okay. I can try that.

HOURS LATER
J: Here they are.
MAV: *almost chokes. The images are looking a little pixelated. What is going on there?
J: I am not sure.
MAV: *opens file* Oh, it's sized in Flash. That makes them look bad. You really should size in Photoshop.
J: Oh, okay.

Much later at production meeting
DIVA: We really need to set up a time for you to call in each day so we get a feel for your progress and where we are in the project. It is a very tight deadline, so communication is very important. J, what is a good time for you? When are you available?
J: Well, not until after 2.
MAV: *holds anger* Um, well, that is a little late in the day. Can you be sure to post all of your work the night before so I will know exactly where we are first thing in the morning.
J: Umm, okay. Oh, and can you please call me if you need to get anything to me after 5? I don't really check my email until 9 or so.
MAV: Yes, I can try, but it is really better to do these things via email so there is documentation and hard copies. It is just easier to send a list of things over email than to leave them on an answering machine.
DIVA: We really do prefer doing things over email. It is just more official.
J: Okay, I guess I can check it some more. Oh, yeah, by the way, I am going out of town the week after next for vacation, so I won't really be available then. And, I really need a few days to get things in order for that.
MAV: Well, next week, we are off Monday and Tuesday. So, you aren't going to be available Wednesday, Thursday or Friday?
J: Right.
DIVA & MAV: Okaaaay.

Later that day, again...
J: Okay, I think I have it right. Look.
MAV: Hmmm, still not exactly what I was thinking. See these screens? Use them and just replace the text.
J: Okay. Oh, and I can't get this screen to work. Can you do it?
MAV: Okaaaayyy.


And so on. Basically, this woman is incompetent yet thinks very highly of herself. I really don't know what to do. I could not be any clearer with what I need her to do. I am not in a position to fire her or discontinue using her as a contractor. So, does anyone have any advice? As it is, I am having to redo all of her work because it is just bad. Really, really bad. I am at a loss. I have never worked for someone that was this bad. Not only can't she do basic design things, but she is very difficult. She doesn't keep me updated. She doesn't follow direction. She doesn't read emails. What am I supposed to do?

Managers? Supervisors? Team Leads? Some advice?