UPN Buffy
So, my new phrase for anything that is disappointing or just plain bad is that it is "no better than UPN Buffy." Just to clarify, and let me warn you, this is going to be quite the controversial comment, I equate UPN Buffy as being no better than early Shannon Doherty episodes of Charmed. I liked early episodes of Charmed. They were no where near as awesome as Buffy. But if Charmed had premiered at the same time that Buffy moved to UPN or if Buffy had started at the UPN level of crap, then I think that most people would think Charmed was better. Now, I do think current Charmed is pretty awful. That is what happens when you let your actresses have too much control over the show. They work for you, dammit!
So, some things that are no better than UPN Buffy:
- My first iPod Mini. I dubbed her Kennedy for her level of disappointment. But my wonderful Apple Genius got me the hookup and restored my faith in the Apple corporation. Stella is Season 2 Buffy!
- Bikini waxes. They are painful and you question why you are participating.
- Flash MX 2004. Yeah, I am a nerd. But really, they made all of these changes that didn't need to be made. I am very displeased.
- Dimly lit offices. I understand what they are trying to do, but the result just gives me a headache and makes my eyes want to bleed.
- Plain Broccoli. Sure, it has some things you need, but in other forms, it would be better. Like covered in cheese.
- Sunburns. They are painful and make you question why you subjected yourself to such a thing.
Some things that are worse than UPN Buffy. Yes, it is possible.
- 7th Heaven. No matter how much Buffy sucked, it was still better than 7th Heaven.
- Head lice. Actually, lice in any form is definitely worse than UPN Buffy. Just wanting to put things in perspective. Now, in a head to head competition between crabs and 7th Heaven, I don't know which would win.
- Horatio Sands. He just plain sucks. More than UPN Buffy. But probably not more than 7th Heaven.
- The photo testimonials on ColonBlow.com. Really, they are just awful.
- Tomatoes. Nuff said.
- Our President's speaking skills.
- Radio stations in East Texas.
- Post-Puffy J Lo movies. Shut up, I liked The Wedding Planner and Out of Site. But everything after The Wedding Planner blew chunks.
- Coding. HTML, PHP, C++, XML, I hate it all.
- Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
- Post Chicago Real Worlds
- Counting the pixels on mobile phone screens
- Cramps
- Joey
Things that are surprisingly better than UPN Buffy.
- Adam Sandler movies
- Eye brow waxing
- Going into work early
- The OC
- Senior Year Felicity
- Alternative radio on Clear Channel stations. Yeah, it kinda blows, but it is better than static.
- Flossing
- America's Next Top Model
- Chicago Real World
- Web design. I always thought I would hate it.
- Asparagus
- Cardio workouts
- Preparing your income taxes (but only if there will be a refund)
- Health insurance
- Christina Aguilara's Stripped cd
- Christina on SNL
- Pacey on Dawson's Creek
- Revenge of the Sith
I am sure there are many more things that I could add to this list, but sadly I must get to work. Paychecks? Better than UPN Buffy.
posted by Kelly @ 5:51 AM
6 Comments:
THIS IS AWESOME!!!! I'm so glad you posted this!
I <3 Pacey. He's way better than UPN Buffy.
Charmed, no matter WHAT season, is not better than ANY form of Buffy. Just so THAT's clear.
K.
Oddly enough, the Surreal Life season with Peter Brady and Mini-me was pretty good as well. Better than UPN Buffy
I agree. My favorite part about the Surreal Life are the C-listers that don't realize that they are has-beens/washed up just like everyone else. I loved the fight between Da' Brat and the chick from The Go Go's. I kept screaming that The Go Go's were so much cooler that Da Brat ever was or would hope to be. Everyone can list off several Go Go's songs but can you even name a "Brat" song? Not me. Besides, I don't support such a stupid name.
Next season looks delicious, too. Balki, Janice Dickenson, Pepa and Jose Canseco! Hopefully Omorosa will be involved in a horrific accident on the first night.
i'm confused about how buffy on upn is bad.
The move to UPN was when the quality really went down in my opinion. Dawn was super annoying. The magik addiction storyline was stupid. Had it been presented as a need for power, that would have made sense. But it was written like a drug addiction. To the point that Willow was dehydrated when she was going through withdrawl. Hello? It wasn't ACTUALLY drugs. It was LIKE a drug. Plus UPN had Kennedy, possibly the worst addition to the show (possibly any show, ever) so that will forever scar it for me.
Let's just say, I probably wouldn't have watched an eigth season.
The ultimate in Buffy seasons was the second, but I have to stand up for UPN Buffy. Without UPN Buffy there would have been no Spuffy. There are very few people in this world sexier than Spike (Naveen Andrews and Shana Moakler among the few) and WB Spike/Buffy action would have been much tamer. For that alone, UPN Buffy can't be worse than an FM radio station!
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